sanTa banTa FunnY sMs

Waiter gives bill

Waiter gives bill 2 Santa

Santa:Take this card.

Waiter:But sir,this is voter card.

Santa:So what?u hav written there-ALL CARDS ACCEPTED.

ajkal kee kar rahe ho

Santa-ajkal kee kar rahe ho?

Banta- PGDCA

Santa-oh kee?

Banta- Papa G De Cash te Aish

i want 2 die like my grandfather

Santa : When i die, i want 2 die like my grandfather,

who died peacefully in his sleep,

not screaming like all the passengers

in the bus which he was driving!

SANTA passing throug a Jungle

SANTA passing throug a Jungle,

a Churrail stops him n says:

HOO HOO HA HA Mai Churrail hoon.

Santa: Janta hoon Teri ek Behan Mere ghar mai b hai

papa 5+5 kitne hote hai

Tinku to santa: papa 5+5 kitne hote hai?

Santa: Ullu de pathe,gadhe,

idiot, nalayak, Besharam,

tuje kuch ni aata,

ja andar se Calculator le ke aa, btata hu.

Santa was smoking in a bus

Santa was smoking in a bus.

ek Aurat: tenu dikhda ni,

bus ch likhea 'No Smoking'

kujh dair bad oh aurat

apne bache nu dudh pilan lagi.

mauka dekh k santa bola

aapne pada nahi ke shareer ka

koi aang bahar mat nikalo.

Murge di taang kithe hai

Santa :Murge di taang kithe hai?

Waiter:Woh langra tha.

Santa : Dil?

Waiter:Dil murgi le gayee.

Santa:Dimaag?

Waiter: Murga SARDAR tha!!!

Gun leke darwaze pe ruka

SANTA: Gun leke darwaze pe ruka,

wife:kya hua?

SANTA: Sher ka shikaar karne ja raha hu!

Wife: To jao na.

SANTA: kaise jau,

bahar kutta khada hai !

yar bante tu 25 saal da ho geya

Santa-yar bante tu 25 saal da ho geya

ta vi tere daari-muucch nahi aayi .

Banta- kuinki main apni mummy te geya han.

U want to divorce Santa

Judge: U want to divorce Santa

4 threatening u with a deadly weapon?

Jeeto: No, ur honor. I'm divorcing him

4 threatening me every night with a dead weapon.

How did u make such a huge idli

Wife:How did u make such a huge idli?

Santa:With this special cloth.

Wife:u idiot,give me my Bra back..

Nojwan aage bado

Nojwan aage bado. Santa aage nahi bada.

Captain:-tum aage kyun nahi bade.

Santa :-apne kaha 9jawan aage bado main 10ve number pe

hun.

Jab apko pata tha

Doctor: Jab apko pata tha chipkali apke

kan me ghus rahi hai to aap chup kyu the?

Santa: pehle Cockroach gya tha

to mujhe lga k chipkali use pakadne ja rahi hai

Women Live Better

Women Live Better,

Longer & Lead Peaceful Life. Why?

Santa Replied: Its Very Simple.

Women Don't Have Wife..!!!

A girl said to Santa Singh

A girl said to Santa Singh-

"Main tumhare bacche ki maa banna chahti hun..!!

"Santa - "ha ha ha...

Lekin mera to koi baccha hi nahi hai.d

I had a fight with my wife today

BANTA: I had a fight with my wife today.

Santa: How did it end?

Banta: She came to me with folded hands &

requested me to come out from under the bed.