sanTa banTa sMs

Titanic was sinking.

An englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?

Santa: 2 KMs.

Englishman jumped into sea.

Englishman: Now, which direction?

Santa: Downwards!

Santa: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do, mere dost aa rahe hain.

Jeeto: Kyon! Aapke dost chura lengey?

Santa: Nahin, pehchan lengey.

Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators

A sweet girl goes to Banta's shop and said: Mujhe underwear dikhao.

Banta sharmate hue: Aaj pehan kar nahin aaya.

Santa: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!

Banta: Mujhe uska naam pata hai.

Santa: Kya naam hai uska?

Banta: Woh bank mein kaam karti hai, uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha "CHAALU KHAATA"

Translation from hindi to english, "Khushi ke mare uski chaati phool gayi".

Santa: Due to happiness, his chest became breast.

How did santa tried to kill a bird??

He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.

Santa: I have swallowed a kay.

Doctor: When?

Santa: 3 months back!

Doctor: What were you doing till now?

Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.

Santa ki shaadi ek nurse se ho gayi.

Banta: Aur santa, kaisi nibh rahi hai?

Santa: Pooch mat yaar, jab tak sister na kaho, bolti hi nahi.

In a train compartment husband: Darling, mujhe to tumhari aatma se pyar hai, tumhare jism ki mujhe koi chah nahin. Main tumhari rooh ko chahta hoon, tumhara shareer to main kutton ko daal doon.

Banta sitting on upper berth says: BOW BOW

Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?

Santa: Suicide karne ke liye

Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?

Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye

Girl: Will u marry me?

Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se

Santa: Bhagwane suit bada sohna paya hai.

Jeeto: Thank u G

Santa: Lipstick badi sohni laayi aa.

Jeeto: Thank u G.

Santa: Shingaar v sohna kitaa aa.

Jeeto: Thank u G

Santa: Par sohni pher v nahi lagdi...

Santa ne apne nawen jamme bachche nu pakdeya per usne Santa te sussu karta.

Santa to nurse: Bibi eh piece leak karda hai badal k le aa..!